Well. We. Are. Over. Alhamdulilah.
I know you must think that I'm crazy or mad to be thankful that it was over. A relationship that used to make me glow, finally ended.
Honestly, I've been crying my heart out, just wanting to hear his voice and his warm hug. Feeling desperate to actually wants him back in my life. But Allah had showed me. Thats the reason why I am thankful. He showed me, that no matter how much I love him, I will still be hurt, because of his insensitive attitude.
We were supposed to meet up to end it nicely, since I really love our relationship. I've been thinking a lot too, to maybe save our relationship, because I love him.
But, it all went down the drain. He just have to burst my bubble. Instead of seeing me, he claims he is going out with his brother. I have no problem with this.
But, the problem that I had was why can't he tell me earlier on?. He knows I'm meeting him. Have I've been dating a dumb guy who have no initiative? He should have the initiative to at least message me that he is going out with his brother. Instead, no. He waited. He only told me this after when I was about to leave work and when I message him, where to meet?. Tell, me, don't you think he is being insensitive?. Come on la, he already meet his brother on Sunday to go IT Show and then he is the one who decide not to put our relationship status without even asking my opinion. He did this after the IT Show.
Now, the only thing that is in my mind is just you have someone, you do not want to tell, fear of hurting me. Well, whatever it is. I'm hurt and miserable. To think that I spend and waste my 1 year being with you hurts me. Now, I know why all those tears for. They are never meant for you. They were meant for me, my misery.
No matter how much I hated you. But, I do love you too. Its just, its not enough for me. I can't go out with someone insensitive. No wonder, I keep thinking negative about you, and that was because your attitude does nothing to keep the smile on my face.
I wish you all the best for your future endeavours. I hope, you do really learnt from this and changed your attitude. I do not regret my actions. Thank you for loving me, but I guess it was not enough.
PS: I don't mind being friends with you, just in case you need my listening ear and advise in the future. Alhamdulilah. I was offered a permanent post with Mendaki as Executive Admin. At least, there is something for me to do and look forward too.
