Decision was made.

The decision was made. I'm sorry for disappointing you, Mom and Dad. But, this is my life. It's not yours to lead. I'm suffering. You are not. I only need you to support me. I know you are disappointed because this is what you want. But, this is not mine to take it. I know most of us will say enjoy your life later, now you have to work hard. Honestly, I did. Its just that I do not have the interest. I am sick of creating games. I am sick of programming. I miss interacting with teenagers, kids. Everything says it all. I'm not suited to do this course. I rather work than waste my time sitting in school wondering and stressing whether I am in the right course. What's the point, when you know in the future, you will not be using these? I know if you have a degree cert, you can go anywhere. That's not my planned. I can't. I need to have skill in order for me to be more confident in my work. If I work in a different industry and am not sure what is going on, what's the point, I'll even get stressed?

I do have an alternative plan, to work anywhere first, pay off my loans, and find for another course that I wanted. I do want to have a degree, but I want a degree of what I wanted. I do want to teach, but I'm not qualified, as my English is bad. Well, I have not yet applied for teaching yet. I do want to teach Maths and CPA. I'm not sure whether I'm capable, though.

I'm just waiting for approval from my dad. Tears streams down my face when he sms me these:

1) Dont ever give up, think of your degree and future, don't follow what people says, listen to me, last time, i remember how hard it is for me, but now, i'm contented. Dont let us down.

2) Dont give up hope, try and try and keep up trying. Follow the chinese style, not the malay style. You make us happy today and you will be happy tomorrow. You make us sad and you will continue to be sad in the future. Dont think of difficult today but think of the difficult tomorrow. Go on and strive and you get your rewards in future.

When he says "Dont let us down", I'm at the edge of breaking down. But, I have to regain my posture, because I was on the way up to MRT. Part of me just want to end my life. Life is so hard. I cant continue. I hate the thought of continuing just not to let my dad down.

My mom is supportive, but not my dad. I just hope he will realise it. But, the decision was made. I'm dropping out. However, I would like to thank Digipen and SIT for giving me a chance.